Saturday, 14 November 2015
How to Be Alone But Not Lonely
In today’s fast paced society, we’ve become accustomed to filling the eeriness of silence with fluff. We turn to many distractions as a means of escaping feelings of idleness or boredom. But the main thing we wish to elude is loneliness. Solitude does not have to alienating or lonesome. In fact, solitude and loneliness are distinctly separate.
The death of a loved one or the inability to find people who understand you can leave you feeling isolated. Webster’s dictionary plainly describes loneliness as “being without companions.” It’s natural to experience an emptiness while longing for love or acceptance. Loneliness is therefore an emotive state that can be experienced whether or not one is physically alone.
It was Geoffrey F. Fisher who said, “In cities no one is quiet but many are lonely; in the country, people are quiet but few are lonely.”
We tend to fill loneliness with all types of distractions. For example, some single women would rather spend a Friday night with a man they have no genuine interest in, than spend the night alone. They long for a way of killing time while they await the man they are actually seeking. Then there are young adults who are involved in cliques where they can’t really relate to their companions.
However, they would rather feel accepted on a superficial level than risk feeling outcast. So what is it about being alone that scares us?
Do not be spooked by the unfamiliarity of silence. Silence can be an amazing thing. It teaches you how to truly listen. It teaches you to pay attention to what’s going on inside of you.
Only when we are alone, can we have the space and peace we need to think without being outwardly influenced. It therefore becomes easier to make important decisions as well as identify whatever feelings are culminating within.
Get in touch with yourself so that you can make conscious decisions rather than simply react to emotions. Appreciate the time you have to yourself. Let the peace and understanding you find better equip you for the commotion of today’s world.